The Reason You Struggle...
I’m tired of struggling & I’m taking my power back.
I am reminded that I cannot help ANYONE, if I do not care for myself first.
You’d think I learned this lesson by now after a life of putting everyone else before me that led to a health collapse & debilitating pain that lasted years.
& after getting well, I’m doing it again.
I unconsciously think bc I’m doing decolonial & spiritual work that I have to suffer, that I have to give my work away & that my family & I have to struggle or else it’s not decolonial or spiritual. FK THAT. I’M DONE.
I don’t need to sacrifice myself, I don’t need others to approve of the way I do my work. It is a divine gift & I am here to serve in the way I am called, & I deserve abundance.
I’m ready to walk the walk, fully. Bc I am worthy & bc I do ENOUGH.
Folx that judge me have something to gain from my exploitation & from me dimming my light & I’m done with giving a FK about other people’s opinions.
I didn’t plan to write this but I’m feeling it deeply & the BIWOC, all women & femmes, that are called to work with me need to hear this too.
I’m DONE with living in servitude. I am worthy of thriving.
&, what’s kept me from that before was this colonial patriarchal conditioning, & then it was feeling like I was indebted to the movement, & then it was not feeling worthy of financial abundance, & then it was fearing my power, & then it was what will people think if I turn my power all the way on & I DO charge my worth so that we don’t have to struggle, will that not be decolonial?
& I’m DONE! With all of it! Bc I am worthy of being well. & if I don’t chose that for myself & my family & claim my abundance now, it will be too late & I’ll end up living in pain, debilitated, again.. the writing is on the wall, my body is TIRED. The time is NOW.
I fought too hard to be healthy, & I’m not going to allow people’s judgments to take me back.
Dear one, have you allowed other’s judgements to hold you back?